Ghost of You and Me
by Jag-Fel
Summary: UPDATED! Season 9, Episode 18, while invisible Cameron takes advantage of the situation to reflect on the ‘what ifs’ in his life, while watching someone work late at night. Part II takes place 2 weeks later, when Cameron returns to the SGC hurt... CamLam.
1. Ghost of You and Me

Ghost of You and Me 

* * *

_Takes place during Season 9, Episode 18, __Arthur's Mantle__. Cameron Mitchell and Samantha Carter are rendered invisible through transportation to an alternate dimension via one of Merlin's devices. Cameron takes advantage of the situation to reflect on the 'what ifs' in his life. Just another late-night drabble, taking a further look into the character of Cameron Mitchell, his desires and motivations, and of course, a little bit of romance.  
_

_Disclaimer: Stargate, Cameron Mitchell, Carolyn Lam are not mine, nor are any noticeable entities. Only the concept here is mine, and I'm not making any money off of it. This is just a hobby for me. The name is borrowed from the same-name song by BBMak, which I felt was an apt title for the material contained within, again no infringement intended.  
_

* * *

It had been several hours now. Several hours of frustration and hopelessness while trapped in a quasi-incorporeal side dimension, justified by some 'Sam Carter-technical-babble' that had only made Cameron Mitchell roll his eyes and wonder what use he could possibly be in the situation. After spending some time watching Sam diligently work away at solving their quandary, Cameron had first gone off in search of someone who could maybe still see him, despite the alternate dimension. 

Of course, he'd had no luck, and had ended up following General Landry and others around in desperation. Enlisted men and women walked right through him, busy about their tasks while he wondered the corridors of Stargate Command. His roaming had drawn him to the dining hall, where he'd been quite dismayed to realize that not only was the dining staff serving roast beef, but he could not manifest himself physically to affect the world around him.

"Maybe I should have asked for a desk job," Cam wondered aloud but to no one in particular, as he stared down at the delicious plate of roast beef behind a window in the dining hall. As a young lance corporal reached _through_ him and grabbed the plate, Cam through his hands up in frustration and disgust, storming out of the dining hall in a huff.

He had gone back to check on Sam, but when he had told her about the roast beef, she'd paid him little mind and had gone back to studying the device. Cam informed her that he was going for a walk, which she had barely responded to with a wave of her hand.

Cameron stuffed his hands in the pockets of his trousers, stalking through the hallways with no particular destination or reason behind his forced march behavior. Come to think of it, could he even _get_ exercise while in an alternate dimension?

Another sigh was the only reply to his internal question as Cam found his way to the Stargate room. He hopped up on one of the many storage boxes in the large room, seating himself comfortably and watching the various goings-on. When all you could do was watch, Cam quickly realized how much he craved activity and action. That was why he could not have asked General O'Neill for a desk job. Cameron Mitchell could no more sit behind a desk than he could hope to breathe underwater, but wouldn't that be something cool?

Over time his thoughts drifted about, covering all manner of topics. He wondered, albeit briefly, if his car – a 69 Ford Mustang – was in need of an oil change, in which case, he'd simply do it on the weekend. If he got one. If Sam could figure out how to re-sync them with their normal dimension.

He wondered how his parents were doing and even wished, for a second, that he could call home just to hear their voices and the summary of events from home that he'd always receive upon calling home. Following the train of thought, he also made an attempt to remember to water the plant his mother had given him, sitting as it was on the small kitchen table against the north wall in his apartment off base.

It did not take long before such lines of thought dug deeper into his psyche, remembering the life-altering events he'd experienced and been a part of during his short time with the SGC. One prominent memory was the several alternate SG-1s who had come through the gate. It really was something _else_ to see yourself and find out who you were in other realities. A couple of the other Camerons were married, another just dating, but altogether... they all seemed happy.

Cameron couldn't remember the last time he was happy. Truly happy, at least. Sure, he enjoyed his job, and had his hobbies, and friends, but none of it was the same as being truly happy, as he'd seen in the faces of his alternate selves. He abandoned his post in the Stargate room, returning to his self-imposed, introspective death march through the corridors of Cheyenne Mountain.

He'd been invisible for what felt like days, but in reality was only hours, when Cameron found himself standing outside the medical bay. He watched doctors and nurses go about their daily tasks, a quiet statue that could only observe but not interact. That realization quieted Cameron. He was no longer making comments or joking around, as he had been earlier when this alternate dimension business was new and exciting.

No, now he was overcome with a profound feeling of loneliness. Cam could not remember ever feeling so alone, not even when he'd been injured in Antarctica and lost the use of his lower body for quite some time.

It was later in the evening now. Much of the staff had finished their tasks and had gone home. Cam was still busy feeling sorry for himself when he noticed a dim light coming from one of the offices in the hall. He walked over, figuring it was a lamp left on after the room's occupant had left for the night. As he got closer and could see inside the spartan office, Cameron was almost overcome.

Her dark chocolate hair was down, as it usually was, and her labcoat was discarded on one of the chairs in the room. She was dressed casually, wearing a teal blouse with sleeves that came down to mid-arm, and simple black trousers that were stylish and obviously fit quite well. As Cam watched Doctor Carolyn Lam closely, he got the feeling that she was somehow more... human that he had ever expected.

Her eyes looked dark and lidded, obviously tired, but reflecting an ever-present inner strength as if the world were resting on her shoulders, but she'd long-since come to accept the burden. In that moment, as Cameron watched her hands supporting her chin, he couldn't help but he taken back by her beauty. Her face seemed to tighten up as he walked into the office, taking a seat across from her. She glanced around nervously, as if she'd felt his presence somehow, though he knew she hadn't, but wished she could.

Carolyn's eyes teared up slightly. There was no way that Cameron could know what she had been through or how she felt, but at that moment, he wished more than anything that he could be corporeal again and put his strong arm around her shoulders and lend her his strength. He could instantly see why two of the other Camerons had been so taken with the woman that they'd asked her to be their wife.

"Gee, Doc," he muttered. "You're breakin' my heart."

Cam knew she couldn't hear him, but he'd said it any way. He watched as Carolyn closed her eyes tightly, brushing at her lids with a finger. When she opened them, an unconscious grin spread to his face as he took in every detail of her face, from the smooth skin of her cheeks, to the delicate sweep of her eyebrows, to the deep, warm hazel of her eyes.

He sighed, watching her lifelessly enter reports into the desktop computer. _No wonder the others me's fell for you,_ he thought. _You look like an angel, even late at night doing reports._

"If Sam ever gets this all fixed," he announced, rising from his chair and walking around the desk to stand beside the doctor, "I'll come on down here, and maybe think about askin' you out for dinner sometime, Doc." He tried to offer her some reassurance, but realized there was little he could do after a failed attempt to pay her shoulder.

At that moment, he felt like a voyeur, and walked from the room. At the door, Cam briefly stopped and looked back at her before he left. Where just a moment earlier he'd seen the makings of tears, he now saw a slight sparkle. Her soft lips had turned upward, ever so slightly, in a smile, as if she'd heard his promise and felt the friendly pat anyways.

"Nah," Cameron chuckled dismissively, taking one last look at the woman and leaving the medical area. "Couldn't be."

* * *

For a moment there, this almost became something of a novel-length chapter entry. But in the end, I decided to stick with a vignette solo entry for this one, and perhaps go a little bit longer for the next one I'm working. This was just a brief taste of what I'm brewing up still; the other story will have alot more "Cam abuse" than this one did. I like think Ghost was a light, romantic drabble, more than anything else. Please review! 


	2. While You Were Sleeping

While You Were Sleeping

* * *

_This is the unintentional follow-up to __Ghost of You and Me__, but I decided to enter it is a 2__nd__ chapter. There's a great deal of time between Season 9, Episode 18, __Arthur's Mantle__ and __Crusade__, so I'm assuming that somewhere during that lapse, SG-1 performed more Recon missions. It went a little bit longer than I intended, with the flashbacks and all, but I think it was worth it._

_Italics denote flashback scenes. _

_Disclaimer: Stargate, Cameron Mitchell, Carolyn Lam are not mine, nor are any noticeable entities. Only the concept here is mine, and I'm not making any money off of it. This is just a hobby for me._

* * *

"Unscheduled off-world activation!"

All around klaxons sounded in warning, the Quick Reaction Force sprinted into the Gate room and raised their weapons, setting up defensive positions around the ramp and taking aim at the Iris. Several tense moments passed while Master Sergeant Harriman and General Landry watched on from the control room, as the entire SGC waited for further details with bated breath.

"I'm receiving SG-1's Iris code, sir," Walter Harriman announced at last, reporting to the general officer standing beside him. The code had come through scrambled, though he did not know why, it had checked out after a quick verification.

"Let them through, Walter," General Landry replied. "And send a med team to the Gate room." He feared the worst.

_SG-1 had encountered severe resistance on another medieval-like world, undoubtedly another one of Merlin's projects. The villagers, who had accepted Origin weeks prior to the visit, had reacted harshly with whatever weapon they had available. Daniel Jackson had tried to reason with the villagers but one of their more devout Ori-supporters had spurred the mob on, and soon rocks and debris rained on the Earth team._

_Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell had announced a tactical fallback that, when several villagers produced Goa'uld staff weapons, turned into a hasty retreat. The four members of SG-1, one light since Vala Mal Duran had taken off, had taken off to the Stargate on foot. Their retreat soon became a gauntlet when more villagers appeared on their flanks, firing more staff weapons and throwing more rocks._

_Teal'c covered the escape, firing zat rounds, as fast as the weapon could recharge, but there were far too many villagers. Cameron had attempted to force the angry mob to keep their heads down with suppressing fire but their fervor was such that no amount of weapons fire would dissuade them. While Mitchell and Teal'c provided covering fire, Carter and Jackson attempted to dial back to Earth before they were fully routed and soundly defeated._

_"What's taking so long?" Cameron demanded between bursts of fire from his P90. He glanced back at Sam as she struggled to finish the dialing sequence._

_Sam was focused on completing their return and so ignored Cameron._

_"Almost got it," Daniel supplied, turning back to further cover Sam by laying down a firebase to support Cameron and Teal'c. The act was futile, as the villagers driving them back to the Gate now numbered near one hundred, of which likely fifteen had staff weapons. The only saving grace for SG-1 was the series of statues and obelisks that lead to and gave way to the Stargate, providing ample cover for the retreating team._

_Staff weapon blasts were increasing in both proximity and intensity. Teal'c had already suffered a minor wound to his side, shrapnel from the statues on his exposed shoulder and neck creating their own small trails of blood. Cameron, however, was covered in blood. A staff blast landing on the obelisk he had been using for cover had send burning chunks for rock and dust into his face. The fragments had imbedded themselves into his face and neck. His vision was obviously impaired, but he kept firing bursts from the P90._

_Sam soon joined him, offering her own covering fire. "The wormhole's up," she told Teal'c and Cam. "Help me get him up!"_

_Cam was dazed and blinded, still firing controlled bursts of fire from his weapon. Sam and Teal'c helped him struggle to his feet and began leading him to the Gate. They were just marching up the steps to the Gate itself, when Cam shuddered and groaned in pain. He'd been struck by an errant staff blast. The impact dropped him to the ground, though supported he had been. His face collided with the stone steps, knocking him clear out._

_Teal'c, with a fierce growl, summoned all of his impressive strength and lifted Cam clear off the ground, and then followed Sam and Daniel into the event horizon of the Stargate._

It had been an eventful day. Daniel and Sam were quickly cleared by the medical staff and off to debrief with General Landry, while Teal'c had been patched up and sent to rest in similar short order. Cameron, however, had been rushed to the infirmary with life-threatening injuries. He was brought in on a stretcher, covered in field dressings to stave off the bleeding.

Doctor Carolyn Lam, the SGC's Chief Medical Officer, quickly entered the scene and set to saving Cameron's life. He had already lost a lot of blood from the staff wound and was going into shock. A nurse brought the defibrillator and charged it. Carolyn placed the paddles on Cam's bare chest and attempted to restart his heart. Cam came too, but the battle was far from over. Most of his uniform was removed, cut off to allow the medical staff access to his injuries.

One doctor was working on clearing Cam's eyes, using surgical tweezers to remove debris and water to clear blood and dust from his face, while Carolyn was cleaning blood and filth from the staff wound so the injury could be bandaged and allowed to heal.

Hours passed and evening fell on the SGC. Other than SG-1's ambush, the day's other missions had been relatively uneventful, and even Teal'c had been discharged from the infirmary by dinnertime. He, along with Daniel and Sam, had skipped their evening meal and were watching over their team leader as he rested on a hospital gurney, hooked up to various life-support machines and IVs.

From her small office, Carolyn Lam watched their concern for Cameron while he slept. Teal'c had informed him, in his own blunt way, that he was certainly _not_ allowed to die. Daniel had tried making a joke of the situation, but he'd given up, realizing that Cam was not in a coma nor would he reply in any short order. Sam had just talked to him, hoping he'd wake up and recover so the team could be whole again. Still from her office, Carolyn half-watched the team while she entered the remaining reports on her desktop computer using only the light of a lamp.

"You should all go rest," she said, walking into the infirmary with her labcoat in hand rather than worn. "He just needs rest now."

Sam matched Carolyn's gaze, nodding slowly. She herded Teal'c and Daniel from the medical bay with promises of dinner, further strengthening her own resolve about leaving Cameron alone in the infirmary. As three-quarters of SG-1 left, Carolyn returned to Cam's bedside. She checked his statistics, ensured the morphine drip was properly feeding the anesthetic to the patient, and returned to just watching him sleep.

Carolyn's hand unconsciously stretched out to rub the back of Cam's knuckles, all the while watching his serene expression for any indication that he'd noticed her gesture. When he remained asleep, she took his hand in hers and sat on the lone chair beside the bed. Though his lids were closed, Carolyn imagined Cam's deep, sea-blue eyes were matching hers. She reached out and caressed his cheek, the one left uncovered by bandages and wounding, before she even knew she was doing so.

"You need to wake up, Cam," she whispered, scarcely surprised by her own audacity. After the incident with Merlin's device only two weeks earlier, Cameron had gone straight to the medical area and promptly asked Carolyn on a date. She'd been surprised at first, shocked even, but had acquiesced and had awaited that Saturday night with more anticipation than she could ever remember.

_He'd picked her up at her apartment in his '69 Mustang; dressed in jeans, a white dress shirt, and a black jacket, looking every part the southern gentleman he seemed to be. He had even opened the door for her._

_They'd gone out for dinner to a quiet Italian restaurant not too far from the base. Carolyn remembered; she'd had the chicken with pasta smothered in a creamy sauce of some kind. It was delicious. Throughout the meal they'd shared little glances and small smiles, peeking at each other over the candles and centerpiece. After the meal and a few glasses of wine each, they'd gone for a short drive, before ending up back at her apartment. Neither had wanted the night to end, so Cameron offered to walk with her around the block._

_They'd walked through the local park, enjoying the moonlight and streetlights. She remembered vividly the moment he'd reached out for her hand; his expression had been so unsure. She knew he was nervous. In the end, she'd accepted the gesture and laid her head against his shoulder._

_Unfortunately, the night had ended, as it always must. He'd walked her up the step to her apartment, but had made no advances toward her about spending the night. Cam had, however, fished for a kiss. At first he'd just asked, shifting his feet nervously._

_"And just what have you done to deserve a kiss, hmm?" she had replied with a twinkle in her hazel eyes._

_That boyish grin that Cam often wore came to his lips. Carolyn remembered her heart fluttering and the feeling of butterflies in her stomach as he told her how much fun he'd had... and that he cared for her. She couldn't resist his charm or the perfect moment, as she leaned into his arms, and pressed her soft lips to his. They had broken off from each other a few moments later. Carolyn backed away and stepped into her apartment as Cam watched on._

_"What's a guy gotta do to get another one of those?" he had asked with a confident wink._

_Carolyn laughed lightly, saying "Ask me later," as she closed the door._

That had been a week ago, last Saturday actually, she recalled. Now, instead of getting ready for their second date as she was supposed to be, she was watching Cameron lie on a hospital gurney in the Cheyenne Mountain infirmary. _It shouldn't be like this,_ she thought sullenly, tracing the contours of his face with her fingers and paying special attention to his lips in her ministrations. After a moment she abruptly stopped her tracing and hung her head, staring down at the sheets.

Even though she, as a doctor, knew Cameron would be awake in the next day or so, she couldn't help but fear for his life. He was so reckless sometimes, but at the same time, she knew he was only doing his job and that is what made Cam who he was. Carolyn put her hand on his broad chest, delighting in the rhythmic rise and fall. She maneuvered in the chair so that she could lay her head alongside his shoulder, making a pillow out of muscle.

Lying as she was, Carolyn fell asleep. A short time later, though she knew not how long, she awoke to the slightest brush on her cheek. She opened her eyes and still felt the soft caress.

"Would this qualify as a second date?"

Carolyn felt her cheeks warm with a blush. Cameron was awake. The butterflies were back in her stomach, like they always were when Cameron was around. She leaned into him, careful not to disturb his injuries, and brought her hand over her shoulder to play with the hair at the scruff of his neck. "No," she said at last.

Cam was thoughtfully quiet for a moment. "How about that second kiss then?"

She laughed, turning in his arms. Carolyn looked him straight on, their eyes reacquainting in a spectacular show of hazel meeting blue-green. His eyes always spoke leagues more than his lips ever would, but thankfully, Carolyn thought, she'd come to understand them well. As she fell into his arms again, she felt him stealing her heart all over again. She kissed him then, warmly and deeply and with all the pent-up emotions from the day. All of her tension and worry evaporated into thin air.

"Don't think you're getting off the hook that easy, mister," she said markedly, peering at him through part-lidded eyes and pointing directly at him with her index finger. "You still owe me a second date."

* * *

Hooray for unintentional updates, fed by undeniable plot bunnies. I just _had_ to give Carolyn a POV chapter, so I went and did. Please review, so I can be inspired enough to stop outlining and start writing the other, full-length story I've been promising. 


End file.
